How to become an idiot in 10 easy lessons

So, you are tired of competing at being the smartest sheep in the herd? Well, then - Welcome to my easy 10-step recovery program. Become an idiot - Join the lighter side of life.

01. Do you know what Einstein, Newton, Da Vinci, Edison, and all these geniuses have in common? Right - They are not you. Don’t try to be like them. Show others what an independent and unique being you are. Learning & understanding are for nerds.

02. Of course things are not always as easy as they seem. But instead of questioning what you see on TV you could eliminate the risk an misinformation. Knowledge has a name: FOX News.

03. Actually, there is one who knows more than even FOX News: God. And he wrote a book. In English. No need to read it, but just in case you’re asked - Gays are evil, abortion is a deadly sin and the world was created in 6 days. If someone says something else, tell him you’re a christian. That’ll teach him.

04. Ever heard one of these “science guys” on tv say that alcohol destroys your brain? Wanna know why they say it? Because their wives make them. Bunch of pussies. Never forget that Jim and Johnnie are your best friends.

05. Your president loves you. As president of the United States you make a lot less money than you could make as a corrupt industry leader. He sacrifices a lot for you and all he’s asking for in return is you trust. You owe him.

06. This is the 21st century. What the hell are all these books for? Be a modern man and stick to DVDs.

07. Do you remember High School? How you and the rest of the team laughed about this stupid geeks & nerds? How you bullied them in phys ed? Okay, today you’re an unemployed alcoholic and the geeks are multi-millionaires, but they still can’t throw a ball. LOL, these pathetic losers!

08. Appearance is everything. No one will take you serious in a Fiat Punto. When you arrive, the sound of you powerful engine has to blow them away. A Hummer is the smallest car a real man would ever drive. Oh, and don’t believe this environmentalist crap. Al Gore is one of these brainiacs.

09. Women love real men, not these Beckham-like hermaphrodites. Real man have a beer gut, don’t shave and stink 3 miles against the wind. Make your choice and live it.

10. Never touch a computer! Why the hell are you even reading this? The only modern equipment you need are a game console, to show you superiority and mark you territory (no trees to piss at in the cities), and a cellphone to signal your importance to others who are shopping in the same store as you.

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Comment by Gauravonomics
2007-04-19 02:53:48


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- Gaurav

2012-11-07 10:50:55

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How to become an idiot in 10 easy lessons…


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